MENTAL HYPERTENSION EXTENSION, IN WHICH YOU GET MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR
MENTAL HYPERTENSION EXTENSION, IN WHICH YOU GET MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR
I am finding it hard to believe anyone anymore. The starving musician, the penniless artist, the aspiring writer, the greedy capitalist…anyone. What they have in common is they recreate a stereotype, an assigned and played out role that is apparent in an instant and yet still desired as real and a goal[1]. As if there is no other way to live other than to align yourself with a preconceived desire to become something that already exists, yet in achieving this formulaic pre-existing ‘truthfulness’ they have already failed because deep down they know they are choosing something, they are choosing this or that theme/appearance, choosing this or that aesthetic, and then the worst part is choosing ‘this or that stuff’ to think and feel[2], and the resultant choosing ‘this or that’ thing to say[3]. Self censoring with a gauge that is self-referentially checking whether or not ‘this or that’ feeling/sentiment/sentence fits in with the overall goal of the persona they love so much (admire) that they want to create[4]. It can become easy over the years to believe that you really are what you wanted (chose) to be, the more you cultivate and edit and asses your ‘output’ (clothing, speech, sentiment, opinion, musical tastes, themes, furniture, behaviour et al), the closer (you assume) you will be to achieving a sense of honesty in your persona because surely over the years of telling and demonstrating to that many people you are this and representing yourself as such will ergo make you ‘such’[5].
GROUPS CAN DEFINE THE INDIVIDUAL, WHICH COMPICATES THINGS
People know, by preconceived assumption, what they think is authentic. We are aware of truthfulness straight away. From this, there is a mental checklist, prerequisites, that need to be ticked off in order for like-minded associates to accept another as being authentic. This is the horror of reality. We can all smell a fake a mile off. How? Because they do not pass the ‘rules’ we’ve created in our insular, checklist-based ‘pass or fail’ test we force people to undergo in order to assume an inclusion in an invented, imagined and created-based-on-precedent reality. The better you are at concealing this, or more, the less aware you are of this, the better. Now, as a huge aside, there is nothing sinister and calculating and exclusive about any group that exists, you can pretty much ‘get in’ by simply knowing one person (ergo nothing is exclusive)[6]. But hilariously the hierarchy and the way ‘members’ are valued or exalted is remarkable, i.e. those who attain the highest ideals of the whole are the (oh god) leaders, or…what do I say…best of us[7]?
THE DESIRE TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL IS NOW COUNTER POST-CULTURE
We now hate everything that is manufactured, obvious, already done, conceived, born[8] and so the only option is to revert to the pre-aware days of tribe based living; community; circles; bands of like minded people you can shun the world together amongst etc. There is an amazing beauty in this, yet alongside this a fear in progress, as if the hands that reached out for something else where cauterised by the fear of not knowing what else there could possibly be[9]. By reverting in disgust to what has already been our sickness creates an inherently twisted new sense of both self-aware post-irony boredom coupled with a futuristic Hellenistic desire to re-emerge as better than any other ‘version’ of this sense of impossible commune honesty[10]. So now then what is the individual, but one of a group of individuals, unable to exist without some type of ‘banding’, hopelessly lost in the void between not wanting to exist in a band but inadvertently being in one per se. This new horrible world has rules, and in breaking the rules you are a rule. You say things that are expected, you think things that are expected (of you), you try so hard to say something unexpected, but you are trying, and we can see that. There is nothing between heaven and hell we have not foreseen. That is our new mantra and we are sticking to it[11].
THE WAY TO HAPPINESS EMERGES IN WAYS YOU DIDN’T ENVISION
I hope. But lately I’ve become attracted to transsexuals who look really really like women.
[1] Imagine in your mind a musician who works as a part-time telemarketer but he is really good at playing guitar and sings in a local bar. Got it? Really? You can actually imagine that? Well then…that’s exactly what they look like, without irony.
[2] Politics, ethos, reason, purpose you name it
[3] So many examples, let go with the underground musician/hipster/artist, who are so post ironic that they no longer care about anything. How the very act of creating is useless(!) so we are trying to find ways that are still expressive and real but not so all-inclusive, like it’s a way to make people feel again (when of course they have given up feeling beyond wanting others to feel). For example what would they (all!) say to the question: What do you think about privacy?
[4] Thinking on this level on the fly is amazing, either you are able to process that fast or who have brainwashed yourself, that is, convinced yourself of your (desired) true identity, being to be able to actually respond truthfully.
[5] It gets complicated here. You of course are who you are, and what you want to be. But how much of you now is really who you are in comparison to who you want to be and how far away are you from acknowledging to yourself that you are not only real but also seeking to achieve a desired version of yourself and how much importance do you give (or grace) to the intermittent transition whereby you are not what you want to be now but are in the transition of becoming who you think you should be.
[6] Really, have you been to a party? In fifteen minutes you’ve made a stranger a friend. And you don’t care about them in any way! They give you their number and the next day you make sure and delete it. Security overrides humanity.
[7] Jealousy etc
[8] Although it has become do bad an confusing that now things that are obviously abhorrent have found their place in a nonsensical neo-hate/ironic love sense that they re-emerge. I would like it to be a real love of something for the thing in itself (which can happen) but more and more it seems to be a quasi-performance art piece people play with their real (read: not real) sentiments…and it gets gross because we then buy our friends gifts based on their recalcitrant “post-modern ironic representation of ‘like’ as art” newfound beliefs that’s gets so complicated that they themselves don’t even know whether to say “thank you” anymore, but instead react overwhelmingly happy because they have to (performance art, remember) continue the reality that they are in love with this type of thing…and it goes from there.
[9] Let’s go: long hair, drugs, shitty clothing. Again and again and again, right? No? This is the problem, you can see it happening around us, we can see teenagers NOW wearing Nirvana t-shirts. Nineteen years after they made their first album.
[10] With the desire to preserve all the ideals of this, as insanely sick as they have become these days. Allow ALL? Are you CRAZY J
[11] See? The individual, the real individual is nothing but an insane moron unaware of what they are or what they mean (as an unartist, say). Any meaning can be attributed, any subversive sentiment can be categorised. We have created a reason for everything, to fight against it is the be another reason that already exists. What is the answer: to be completely and unequivocally honest, loving, open, true and real. Yet, who among us wants to sit for any length of time with that person?
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